Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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