thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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