Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
