Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
