So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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