party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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