found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
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Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
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What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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