dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
