you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
