Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
