she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize