Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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