I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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