your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize