Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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