Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
