Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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