Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.

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(740): View more from Ohio

he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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(520): View more from Arizona

The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?

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(256): View more from Alabama

The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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(440): View more from Ohio

yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.

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(347): View more from New York

Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.

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