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• (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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• (509): View more from Washington

  im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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• (510): View more from California

  In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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• (760): View more from California

  My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.

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• (323): View more from California

  I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.

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