that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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