This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?