In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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