Texts From Last Night

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  (289): View more from Ontario

  It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.

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  (289): It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack. http://tfl.nu/6xg5
  Replies (21) Good night (1044) Bad night (7465)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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  (970): Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier. http://tfl.nu/o9ed
  Replies (19) Good night (9406) Bad night (1575)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.

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  (727): i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats. http://tfl.nu/tu2s
  Replies (17) Good night (4729) Bad night (1749)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.

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  (217): I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos. http://tfl.nu/dg53
  Replies (10) Good night (3406) Bad night (1504)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's almost as awesome as vicodin.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you

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  (978): He's almost as awesome as vicodin. (513): Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you http://tfl.nu/u3r1
  Replies (8) Good night (2574) Bad night (805)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.

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  (281): I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add. http://tfl.nu/n27a
  Replies (27) Good night (3277) Bad night (759)
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  (858): View more from California

  currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh

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  (858): currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh http://tfl.nu/1197
  Replies (6) Good night (1696) Bad night (776)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself

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  (303): I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself http://tfl.nu/q2o1
  Replies (3) Good night (1417) Bad night (866)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Order is debatable

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  (410): Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy (410): Order is debatable http://tfl.nu/gozm
  Replies (6) Good night (1482) Bad night (686)
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  (209): View more from California

  Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.

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  (209): Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die. http://tfl.nu/72xy
  Replies (9) Good night (637) Bad night (1300)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.

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  (+27): My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like. http://tfl.nu/slfh
  Replies (3) Good night (466) Bad night (1233)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.

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  (646): Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter. http://tfl.nu/74l7
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?

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  (630): your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style. (630): also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns? http://tfl.nu/rnwg
  Replies (19) Good night (841) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.

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  (724): Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins. http://tfl.nu/ixo6
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer

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  (210): I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer http://tfl.nu/7hi6
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (397)

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