That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.