Pregnant stripper...not hot.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
