Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
