I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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