Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
