I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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