Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
