He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
