Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize