Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
