Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
