I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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