I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
someone owes me an orgasm
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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