My room smells like vodka and shame
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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