WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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