I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
