Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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