with your own penis?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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