He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
