Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
