Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
