I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
