Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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