Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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