My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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