Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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