My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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