so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
