: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
