The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
