He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
