What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize