You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize