So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
