i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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