my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize