Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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