I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
worst night to have a conscience
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
