he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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