so explain again why im purple
no
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
