He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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