That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
