Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
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If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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