So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
