Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
