this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
