they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
