But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
