you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
