I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
