I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
