Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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