Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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