I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
