I'm eating all of the evidence.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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