Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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