i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
